LITTLE MOMENTS, BIG MAGIC  

Stories and Testimonials

 

My Little and I first met on a cold, dark evening in January. Our relationship developed slowly. We were both new to the program and not sure what to expect from each other. My Little was shy and quiet, while I was nervous and over-eager for us to bond. I went to K-Mart and bought pencils, markers, stickers, and activity books because I had planned to tutor my Little so she would excel in school. I soon grew frustrated, however, when she began to get bored with going to the library and I was finding it difficult to get her to open up to me.

I was modeling our activities after things I had fond memories of doing as a child, but I began to realize that her upbringing and family life was quite different from mine. Soon, I began to take a different approach. In hindsight it seems pretty obvious, but it actually took me a while to figure out that all kids are not the same, and I had to get to know my Little. I asked her what things she liked to do and what she was interested in, and as a result I was able to plan activities that we would both enjoy. For although we came from different backgrounds, I found we still had a lot in common. I also began to see that she has been faced with a number difficult emotional issues and hardships – things that would be hard for me to process, let alone a child. So I thought to myself, if she has a hard time opening up, well, I could understand that.

My new tactic was to get to know her interests and to not press her to open up to me. If we went out and she was quiet, I didn't push for conversation. If she felt like talking, I encouraged it. I let her be herself and to become comfortable with me at her own pace. After a while, I became less concerned with her excelling in school, and my goal became to simply give her the opportunity to be an eight year-old child. I wanted to give her a few hours a week during which she didn't have any adult responsibilities, criticism, or conflicts. I wanted to give her an oasis of time in which she could have carefree fun, undivided attention, and could feel loved and safe.

My efforts paid off for both of us, as over the past year we have grown closer and have enjoyed many special times together. We've gone swimming, skating, hiking, eaten at restaurants, and gone to movies and museums. We've also shared quiet evenings at the library, as well as laidback times eating pizza and playing monopoly. I praise her every chance I can, because anything is possible when you believe in yourself. I want her to believe in herself. She is a very bright, strong, and insightful child, and I am confident that with love, support, and the proper guidance she will develop into a very successful woman. I find myself feeling toward her as I toward my own child. I have dreams of her going to college and achieving a successful career. I wish I could follow her through all the stages of adolescence and young adulthood, but I have recently accepted a job that requires me to move. It is a bittersweet time for me. I am excited about the new opportunities that lie ahead, yet at the same time I am sad to be leaving behind my family, friends, and of course, my Little Sister. I do have some consolation, however, as Big Brothers Big Sisters has quickly found a replacement for me so that my Little will not be left without a mentor during the transition.

I will stay in touch with my Little through letters, cards, telephone conversations, and visits whenever I return to NY to visit my family. I am going to impress upon her that although I will be moving, I will always be here for her if she needs me.

I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful it has been to get to know my Little, to see her grow, evolve, improve, laugh, and have fun. Nothing makes me happier than to hear her laugh a deep hearty laugh. I think it's been an equally rewarding experience for us both.

Finally, I wish to commend the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization, for without them none of this would be possible. They have a caring and dedicated staff that provides numerous activities, outings, and parties for all of the Bigs and Littles. Their work is as important as the mentors, for they provide excellent support services to all members, and are always there to help if you need them. Thank you BBBS!

 

Sincerely,
Nancy (Big Sister)